School at Home

Bethany and Ethan

Bethany

Ben - doing his own thing

Ethan -this picture was taken by Bethany my aspiring photographer.

Time & Intentionality

This morning I've been thinking about time. About how I never seem to have enough of it. How I feel like I am always chasing after it. Trying to catch it. Slow it down. Stop it. There are so many things to do each day.

I wish I could capture time. Keep it. Tell it to wait so that I can get everything done. Yet, I suppose I'm getting the things done that the Lord wants me to get done...or maybe not. Intentionality must play a part. If I am intentionally using my time, will I still be chasing after it? Seems not, and yet...craziness happens despite my best intentions to be intentional.

I've been pondering intentionality. Questioning what it looks like lived out and how I can stay motivated enough to be consistently intentional. I have a tendency to decide to do something and then completely forget that I made the decision to do it. There is just so much going on...time spinning fast.

I want to live an intentional life. Intentional for Christ. In every. aspect. of. my. life. Yes.

The question is:  what does an intentional or intentionally lived life look like? In real time. Time crammed full with children. School. Noise. Screaming toddlers. Sickness. Laughter. Good. Bad. Boring. Exciting. Life.

A life of purpose. A life of beauty. A life of order. A life of love. A life of sacrifice. A life of praise. A life well lived. Christ.

Yet, how? What is it? What does it look like? And how do I find time and strength to attain and maintain it? Revolutions in my mind.

Elisabeth Elliot's famous words come to mind..."do the next thing". And yet,...

I was reading another blog that I enjoy and the author was answering a question from a reader who asked how the author of the blog never got tired of being intentional. The author answered that she does get tired, but that it is a good tired. I agree. Work is good. Being intentional is good (and important), but I also agree with the questioner. Living an intentional life is not easy. It is tiring. Especially for a wife whose husband is often absent due to long work hours or other obligations. Intentionality then falls primarily on the wife/mother - and for a mother of many this can be a tiring thing. A difficult thing.

Weary. There is always the call of the couch. Do you hear it? It calls, "come and sit for you are weary". The computer calls too, "come and lose yourself in endless web pages and other's words". And books. They call too. And the shower. Ha!

As mothers we must laugh. Find humor in the crazy. Proverbs 31 says, "she laughs at the time to come". I've been thinking that we must laugh at the days that are. Today. This moment. It helps us stay sane. Or me at least.

My husband is once again teaching from 1 Peter. This book of the Bible is all about intentional living. Holy living. Glorifying God. Good works. Following Christ. And suffering. I'm going to try to carve out a few free minutes today to delve into it's pages and see what I can glean about living intentionally.

But now another is calling me from his crib. His babbles say, "Momma, come and get me. I am awake. I'm ready for the day. No more sleep. Here I am!" And so I go...to begin my intentional day or not. We shall see.

May the Lord bless you my sweet friends.

Rain!

This morning I went to the window and what should I see?
Rain!
Beautiful, blessed rain.
Bess, my sweet, emotional five year old came to window beside me this morning and asked, “Mamma, what are you looking at?” Then she saw it too, “Rain! It hasn’t rained in years!”
Or something like that. I think the news said 120 days.

Praising God for the rain.

Two Kingdoms and the Grace of God

A simple wonderful thing that I love: When my husband teaches on a Bible passage in Sunday school and then our pastor preaches on the same passage (or subject) during worship.

Something similar and just as wonderful happened last Sunday.

A bit of background: Sometimes I know what Mark (my husband) is going to teach on or at least the gist of it, but sometimes I don’t. Last Sunday I knew nothing of his lesson except that he would be finishing up the book of Acts (28:11-31). In fact, last Saturday I wasn’t even sure if he would have a lesson to teach on because as of 9:00 pm Saturday night he was suffering from a (another) terrible headache and had been unable to focus on studying at all that day and the clock was ticking - so to speak.


9:30 pm last Saturday night: Mark asked me what he should do (about teaching on Sunday morning) and I asked him if he could teach the passage without studying it. He said he could. I told him to go to bed. He did. I spent some time praying for the next day - that God would take away his headache and that God would give him a lesson - God’s words to speak. Then I went to bed. I did not think to read the passage he was going to be teaching on the next day. I was worn out and Sunday is often a joyful, but busy and tiring day.


Sunday morning: About an hour and a half before we needed to leave for church I woke Mark and asked him how he was feeling and if he wanted to get up and study a bit. He said he felt a little better (not great) and would get up. I had a few extra minutes Sunday morning so I spent the time looking up verses on healing and then I spent a few minutes before we left reading Voices of the True Woman Movement, A Call to Counter-Revolution by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and others. I was reading in chapter 4 of the book and the subject matter was the kingdom of man vs. the kingdom of God. Looking back I realize that should have spent my extra time reading the passage Mark was going to teach on, but as you will see God spoke through what I did read.


9:30 am/Sunday school: Mark is teaching and I am silently praising God because He has given him words and his headache has receded a bit. It is a good lesson. I am thankful. I am also sitting in amazement because God is speaking…at least to me. Guess what Acts 28:23-31 is about? Yes! So amazing! Or maybe not. Just God. Exactly what I’d read about in those few minutes before we left for church. Of course! Paul preaching about the kingdom of God in Rome. So what do you think the main part of Mark’s lesson was about? Yes! The kingdom of man vs. the kingdom of God. Wake up O sleeper and see. Precious.


Marvel. Amazed. Blessed. Grace. Gift. Precious. These are the words that best described how I felt that morning and still feel. God is so good.

When they had appointed a day for him, they came to him at his lodging in greater numbers. From morning till evening he expounded to them, testifying to the kingdom of God and trying to convince them about Jesus both from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets. -Acts 28:23

To follow Him we must give up our own kingdoms - whether relationships, wealth, or power - and embrace God’s kingdom.  -Hettinga

In all of life, it’s important to recognize that there are always two stories going on at the same time - two perspectives, two worldviews, two ways of looking at life. There’s the drama that you can see, and then there’s the drama behind the drama. There’s the obvious plot, as well as the plot beneath the plot. The first plot is the visible, human one - the drama taking place on earth. We might call this the kingdom of man,…Backlighting the human plot and story is a heavenly drama, an unseen story that’s always going on behind the scenes in the spiritual realm. It is the Kingdom of God, overshadowing and outdistancing the kingdom of man as God fulfills His eternal purposes through the events on earth. …Therefore, we as true women, playing out our individual roles in the story of our times, must keep our eyes on what is unseen, knowing that what our God is doing in the background is higher, broader, and more eternal than anything we can see with our natural sight. -Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Please believe me when I say that the wondrous acts of God are not limited to by-gone days. Our powerful, redeeming God is alive; He has not abdicated His throne; He is intent on displaying His glory in our world. And our minds cannot fathom all that He is able to do in and through the lives of those who trust in Him. - Nancy Leight DeMoss

P.S. Mark is still suffering from almost non-stop headaches and they are wearing him down mentally and physically. Your prayers are appreciated.

Fun in the Oven

Bess:  Mom, I know what "fun in the oven" means.
Mom:  Fun in the oven?
Bess:  Yes.  It means you're pregnant.

Hiatus and Back Again

Hiatus - a break or pause in the continuity of action, speech, writing, etc. -The New Lexicon Webster's Dictionary of the English Language

I've been on Hiatus. I hope to be back now - at least every once in awhile.

Okay, let's get caught up:

The most exciting news (most of you know it by now) is that we are expecting baby # 6. A boy. Due around September 16th, 2011.

This is beauty for ashes as I miscarried last year on the 16th of September and God has graciously granted us a new life at the same time one year later. And NO we did not plan this baby or time the baby so that he would be born in September - we were not trying to have a baby at all we stopped "trying" and planning after #3 (but that is a whole other post).

Other happenings - Bess (5) broke her leg in a freak accident. She has been in a purple cast for about eight weeks now. We are hoping that she will get it off this Friday. She has been a real trooper and hasn't complained about it at all and we have been amazed watching her manage to get around by herself. She has been in a walking cast for about the last four weeks so that has helped. She is our first child to break anything. 

The last few weeks have been crazy with mechanical failures and other household disasters occuring. About two weeks ago the toilet in our half bath, which has a tendency to get clogged, overflowed again. (This occurred a day or so after our trip to a high risk pregnancy specialist to find out if our sweet boy had Downs Syndrome -he does not - and later that night a trip to the ER to calm my crazy heart. I had a SVT attack.) Caleb was the one to notice the water on the floor in the front hallway (outside of the bathroom) and his cool comment was, "Mom, there is water on floor" no emotion. Understatement of the year! It was a flood! All the way out of the bathroom to the front door and into the laundry room.  It was one of the biggest, grossest messes I've cleaned up in awhile. And I still don't own a real mop! At first I was completely bewildered as to how to clean up the mess, but God is good and cleared my crazed mind long enough for me to remember that we own a wet/dry vac. What a blessing! My amazing husband with the help of our oldest child spent all of Saturday morning unclogging the toilet. What a job. And so disgusting. I'm so proud of both of them. This is the man who used to know nothing about home repairs and now fixes everything. He has been homeschooling himself. Hee, hee. Praise the Lord for the internet!

Later, on the toilet night, as I was tucking the children in they all asked me why all these terrible things were happening to us and I had a chance to share that these things were not terrible, not even if our sweet baby had been diagnosed with Downs Syndrome, just inconvenient and unpleasant. Terrible is a death or something life threatening or worse - and even then there is good somewhere unseen in the mess. Our toilet overflowing was just a disgusting inconvenience. I was also able to tell them that God hasn't promised that our lives will be good/easy all the time. I told them that we should expect trouble because it will come and it is in those times that we have the greatest opportunity for growth and to glorify God through our attitudes and actions. I tried to explain that during the hard times we either grow closer to God or we turn away from Him.  It is a choice. And our response - to an overflowing toilet or worse - either glorifies God or not. I realized as I was talking to the children that over the last few years my own perspective and responses to the good and bad that happens in life has changed. I now see or try to see everything as from the hand of God for my good - even when it seems to the world and possibly to myself as the opposite. This is rarely easy but I try to always choose to see God's hand in a thing - His good and loving hand.

A sweet friend who recently lost a baby called the loss bittersweet. I smiled a sad smile when I read her words. My heart understood perfectly. Bittersweet was "my" word. I used to use it a lot. It is a word that I believe describes much of life. And I've come to beieve that, oddly enough, it is in the midst of the bitter that either the sweetness of joy is found or bitterness takes over. Choose joy.

Just This

Thought I’d share a few blogs that you might enjoy.

New Life on a Homestead
Money Saving Mom
$5 Dinners
The Finer Things

Yes, I’ve been thinking a lot about food, frugality and organization lately.

Our Friends from Haiti

Our dear friends from Haiti were on the news last night. I wanted to post the video, but I can't figure out how to embed it. Anyway, to watch the clip and see beautiful Michele and her dear husband please follow the link. Please keep them in your prayers. They are a dear sweet couple. Their names are Sidney and Michele. Michele's mother's name was also Michele. She was a lovely lady. It was our joy to have known her even for the brief time that we did.

You can watch the video clip HERE.

The Best Part of the Day

is spent immersed in the Word of God. Over the last year (2009) I read through God’s word chronologically from beginning to end. It was the best part of my day. I’m doing it again. Join me if you dare.

BibleYear.com…Read the Bible in One Year

Advent Days

Once again I’ve been reading Ann at Holy Experience. Again I’m touched. This time tears fall. They’ve been waiting behind my eyelashes for days. Again I’ve fallen short. And at Christmas when I so long to be close to the Lord. Living for Him. Heart tuned to Him.

Ann says that the stretching of the soul hurts. I agree. Mine hurts now. Has for days. I treasure the pain and hate it at the same time. Treasure it because I am changed by it. Hate it for the very pain it brings.

I mentioned that I would post about Advent resources. As you know I haven’t. I just haven’t wanted to. I apologize. It is partly because Advent resources are listed on practically every blog I’ve read lately. There has been a lack of urgency on my part. Daily life is more important. And to be honest I just haven’t felt like writing. My writing days might be over. I am thinking about shutting my blog down. I'm not sure it serves a purpose and I just don't have the time.

Sunday we will light the last purple candle. Four alight. While the Christ candle waits. Dark until Christmas Eve. So many days yet to be stretched before it is lit. Ann’s words, “soul stretchmarks”. I have a few of those. Beautiful aren’t they? I’ll take a few more – painful or not.

Stretch me, Lord. Stretch me. Gently please...

Note

I edited the previous post as I did not like the copy that posted. Originally I wrote it and set it to post at a later date with the intention of editing it first. Then my day got busy, and then the power went out (a transformer blew or something), so I edited it (for good or ill) this morning - a small reminder that God is in control and not me!

And a few more reminders...

For a few weeks Mark has been teaching on the Book of Job and the weirdest string of things have been happening to us starting with both of our cars having mechanical problems (one is unfixable), and then Mark's brother being diagnosed with cancer, and then Bethany blowing something up in the microwave so it is almost unusable, and our phone/internet connection going down for two days (a cut cable or something), and yesterday the power going out (it wasn't raining or anything), and the list goes on. As my mother would say, "If I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying!" Oh, and this morning I walked into the children's bathroom (upstairs) and found dead flying ants all over the place. Ah well, at least they were dead and in the bathroom and not in the children's bedrooms or worse their beds!

Lately I've found myself thanking God that only "little" (with the exception of Mark's brother's situation) aggravating things have happened and begging Him to keep it that way! Thoughts of Job make me thankful for little problems...although, of course, none at all would be better still.

Yet in the midst of the craziness God is constant and He does give His gifts - little reminders of His love - because yesterday as I was leaving the house to go somewhere I saw a full rainbow and I saw it several times as I drove away.

It's the simple things.

God's blessings in the midst.

Thankful for...

13. Rainbows
14. Children
15. Routines
16. Cool weather
17. Pumpkins
18. God, Mark and the children putting up with my attitudes.
19. Grace
20. Ben saying, "uh-huh"
21. My husband not allowing me to be foolish.
22. Green Tea
23. Friday coming home
24. Caleb praying
25. Women who come to church alone on Sunday morning with children in tow. (You are my heroes!)

So this is Life

I want to apologize for the crickets chirping.

Life has been busy.

My (our) days since the start of September have been zipping by so quickly I’ve hardly had time to stop for a breath. In the midst of it all Mark’s oldest brother Robert was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multi Forme a very aggressive cancer. So life is in a whirl.

My new word is “routine”. But I’m too tired and still too busy to try to explain how I plan to implement my new word. I will say that it is taking the place of the word “schedule”. You can ponder the difference between those two words if you want. I’ll try to write more later…especially if I notice a difference between the two.

This Sunday I will once again begin teaching in the Preschool department of our church. In Ben’s class (18m olds). Recently the worship and Sunday school hours at church changed and more workers are needed. Many more. I had not intended to serve (see above), but the need is there and after having spent time serving in his room, I’ve realized that something must be done so I’ve decided to be the answer. (I did consider simply removing him from the class, many of you know my heart on this issue, but I know where I go to church, and I know my husband, and I feel for the other children, and I can’t remove them all so I will simply have to go in and make their Sunday a little more peaceful and secure. Hopefully.) I’m not sure I am the answer (Ha, ha…right!), or that I can bring ten or more 18 month old children into any semblance of peace and order…but I’m going to try and besides no one else has stepped forward and someone has to so it might as well be me. (For those of you wondering I will be helping out at the 10:30 hour so I won’t be missing out on our class.)

Well, break time is over. I’ll try to keep the crickets from taking over again, but no promises. I kinda like crickets. If you feel led to pray for Mark’s brother and his family (he has two grown daughters), it would be counted as a blessing.

If you have time to check out Ann Voscamp’s blog Holy Experience, you should. As always it is a blessing and an experience. Like water to the soul.

Chrip. Chirp.

Something I Often Think

But have to force myself to act upon.

Especially now that it is summer and I have more free time.

“How is it that I can waste so much time????”

I know how! Yes, I know how.

Doing nothing?!

I’m not reading to the children.
I’m not playing with Ben.
I’m not outside (in the 100 plus degree heat) playing with any of the other children or taking care of my garden (maybe that is understandable).
I’m not cleaning my house (which can turn into a pigsty faster than I can take a breath).
I’m not taking a shower, or doing the laundry (which can become a tower larger than myself if I’m not careful),
or painting my bathroom (which is only half done),
or packing for our upcoming trip,
or praying for my husband. (Who has a big meeting this morning, and tons of work to accomplish today, and Houston Project tonight - which went great last night, thanks for asking, and Praise God! It was a complete God thing. Yes, indeed. He was able to witness to several believers...yes, I said believers. It was awesome! God tilled the ground and prepared the soil and He is so awesome! And isn't that how God works, because the lead couple got a call that the baby they have been waiting to adopt would be ready to be picked up today. Praise God! So awesome!)
I’m not even curled up reading a good or not so good (as is the case of the current one I’m reading) book or my Bible.

I’m not doing anything worthy at all!

I’m on the computer. Doing nothing. Yes, I said it. Nothing!!

Nothing = meandering from blog, to blog, to Facebook page, to Google, to blog, to Facebook page, to Google…NOTHING! I mean at least I could be sending out encouraging emails or something. But, no…NOTHING!

I got on the computer this morning to check my mail and here I sit an hour later. And what good has it done me? Zero! Zilch! None!

And things are piling up around me (literally). The dishwasher is waiting to be unloaded and re-loaded, Bess still needs to get dressed, I need to get dressed, Ben needs to take a nap…

Arrrggghhh!

Rabbit hole, after rabbit hole, after rabbit hole… and at the end of which I am left wondering…

WHY!!! (And what time is tea?)

Okay, sorry, I’m done.

Now, I have to get busy. Flylady here I come.

I wonder if 15 minutes to clean is really a possiblity? Swishing and swiping three bathrooms takes 15 minutes all by itself.

(I often wonder what size house Flaylady has. I've decided it must be smaller than mine, and she must have a husband who doesn't live with her (or gets up at the crack of dawn), and fewer children than I do because one home blessing a week is not enough around here, and I've yet to figure out how to get everything done in 30 min. 30 min. for me = a clean that is not clean and leaves no time for the 15 min. I'm supposed to be spending on my Zone. Also, why is it that I never seem to get to the zone called "children's bedrooms"?)

The simple habits we establish can help us to never see dirt again ~ FlyLady

And now I've spent another 15 min. saying all of this.

Bye.

How can I not be moved by You!

This morning I was reading the story of the demon possessed man (Luke 8:26-39) and as I got to the end of the story I was struck by the last two verses.

The man from whom the demons had gone begged that he might be with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him (Luke 8:38-39).

Do you see? Did you hear?

Return home.

Declare how much God has done for you.

And he went away proclaiming…how much Jesus had done for him (v.39)

Do you? Proclaim how much God has done for you?

And he went away proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him (Luke 8:39 b).

At other times after Jesus has finished telling a Parable He will tell the people, “You go, and do likewise (Luke 10:37)”.

How can we not be moved by Him?

Maybe we haven’t been set free from demons, but we have been forgiven much…shouldn’t we too be going “throughout the city” and telling everyone just how much Christ has done for us?

You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
When you take my breath away
Would you take me in take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this
-from “Everything” by Lifehouse

Let the Word of Chirst dwell in you richly… -Colossians 3:16

A Slice of Life

I can’t believe that it is already November. Where did August, September, and October go? How can it be that Christmas is right around the corner? I lost time somewhere.

Whoosh…

4:00 a.m. – Ben wakes. He is squealing, babbling, and staring at me through the mesh on the side of his play-yard. I smile at his silliness despite being half asleep and nurse him. While I am feeding him Bess rushes into our room and promptly climbs into bed with us. Mark sleeps through the whole thing. We (Bess, Ben and I) go back to sleep. As I drift off I wonder if I should just stay awake. I decide not to.

6:30 a.m. – Ben wakes up again. I look at the clock and climb wearily out of bed. (My quiet time is going to be short because I have overslept…I just can’t seem to get up early/5:00 a.m. – when Ben wakes at 4:00 a.m..)

I leave Ben to talk to himself for a few minutes while I go to the bathroom. When I come back he is quiet and seems to be trying to go back to sleep so I steal out of the room, start the coffeepot, toss a few pillows on the couch, pick up a blanket that is lying on the floor, toss a few toys into the toy basket, open the blinds, grab my bible and the other books that I use during my quiet time and proceed to continue reading where I left off in the gospel of Mark.

7:00 a.m. - Bess rushes into the dining room (where I’m trying to read my Bible and have a few minutes to myself) and flings herself into my arms. Morning has started. Soon all the children are awake and Mark is feverishly trying to get some work done (before he heads to work) that he did not finish the night before because he fell asleep and I forced him to go to bed.

The day progresses…I clean up the house, the kids get dressed, they do their chores, Mark leaves for work. Ben is fed, naps and gets up again. I feel rushed and push aside feelings of being overwhelmed. Soon we have to leave for Cub Scouts. I feel the weight of the day and too much to do in too little time. I lay aside feelings of frustration and pray for peace. (Yesterday I read a wonderful article on Peace in the latest Above Rubies magazine. I’m so thankful for the Above Rubies magazine it blesses my heart.)

We read about Moses and hear (through His Word) God say His name, “I AM”. The children narrate the story back. Aaron holds a staff and throws it to the ground to demonstrate how Moses’ staff turned into a snake. This story leads to some interesting discussion. Then we read about Isaac Newton and after that fill out an information sheet about the planet Venus. The phone rings and I have to look up some information on the computer for Mark. We eat a quick lunch and everyone gets ready to leave. I dress the little ones. The older ones I urge on verbally. I help Aaron with his Scout uniform and get myself ready. I argue with myself over what to wear – jeans or a skirt. I choose a skirt. Everyone is ready. Ben is tired and ready for another nap. He woke early from his last nap. We head out. We will be a few minutes late.

Three hours later we arrive home. There is still a lot to do – dinner to make, laundry to fold, emails to send and read, a house to straighten, children to bathe and put to bed, the list goes on.

Tonight I'm setting the coffeepot on auto.

Whoosh…