Intentional ~ Feminine Dress

Over the past few years the Lord has gently impressed upon my heart the truth that the way a woman presents herself is important. Her presentation - demeanor, spirit, attitude, dress, etc. will either glorify the Lord and bring honor to her husband or not. With this in mind I would like to share a wonderful blog series on this topic - A Portrait of Feminine Dress by Jacqueline at Deep Roots at Home. I hope these wonderful pictures inspire you as much as they did me. Be sure to read the entire series. Enjoy.

A pure woman is one who is less concerned about trendiness than about what a particular trend communicates about character. ~Lydia Brownback

It's so easy today to base our choices on what's readily available and on what everyone else is wearing.  After all, we think, it can't be immodest if we blend in with everyone around us.  But we are kidding ourselves here.  A more accurate assessment as to whether an article of clothing is God-glorifying involves both our motive for wearing it and the effect it has on the men around us.  The old saying "she wears her heart on her sleeve" can be taken beyond the realm of romance to the realm of character. ~Lydia Brownback

Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. ~1 Timothy 2:9

Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. ~1 Peter 3:3-4

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~Romans 12:1-2

Girls Gone Wise

I mentioned here that I am reading Mary A. Kassian’s book Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild. As a follow up I wanted to let you know that Mary Kassian is (has been) teaching through her book via a video book blog. You can watch the first few lessons/chapters here.

Below is today’s lesson which I am posting because today she taught on modesty and you know that is one of my interests.




Today’s lesson reminded me of something that Nancy L. DeMoss said in one of her lessons on modesty. She said (and I’m going to paraphrase) that our clothing should glorify God.

In today’s lesson Mrs. Kassian said something similar that we should all take to heart. She said that our clothes are a reflection of Christ in us. That is something to really ponder (and to think about the next time we go swimming). What does “Christ in us” look like when it is reflected by the clothes we wear? Lots to ponder.

Clothing is an outward, visible symbol of an inward, spiritual reality. When you “put on Christ,” He covers your shame and makes you what you should be. He offers you His garments, “so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen” (Revelation 3:18). His covering makes us decent (Galatians 3:27). Without it, we are indecent. The physical clothing we wear is supposed to bear witness to that fact. It testifies that the Lord covers our sin and makes us presentable. That’s why we need to cover our bodies in public. That’s why public nakedness is inappropriate. -from Girls Gone Wise by Mary A. Kassian

From Mary A. Kassian's new book

Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild

I have talked to thousands of women who have fallen into sin because they were unconcerned about their exposure to worldliness and complacent about pondering the way of the Lord. You are mistaken if you think that going to church for an hour a week will counteract the influence of thirty-three hours of TV. Do not think that you can constantly listen to ungodly counsel and remain uninfluenced by it - especially if you are not in the habit of pursuing godly input. Daily exposure to the world’s way without a counteracting exposure to God’s way will kill you just as surely as ingesting bits of poison without an antidote will. -from Girls Gone Wise in a world gone wild by Mary A. Kassian

Amen!

I think you will be reading quite a few passages from this book over the next few days or weeks.

And (hand-in-hand with this book) - Modesty Revisited

For the last few weeks I’ve been listening to Nancy L. DeMoss teach on Modesty. I don’t even know what to say - my dear husband is getting tired of listening to me talk about it (and the questions) and still I'm pondering (and praying) about the messages and yesterday I was almost in tears as I considered myself and my life (and I consider myself fairly modest). And I have to confess that the concept of being responsible for my brothers in Christ just weighs me down…it almost immobilizes me…which brings me to this…if you are my brother in Christ and I have in any way been immodest and caused you to sin I sincerely apologize.

Ladies, I'd like to suggest that you listen to Nancy’s lessons on modesty and really ponder and pray about what she has to say - I think that you will be challenged - even if you think that you are modest. Btw, one of the simple truths that I've realized over the course of listening to these lessons and reading a few blogs by some amazing young women (who are seeking to dress modestly and live Christ centered lives - and really impress me and make me hope and pray that my sons find girls like these to marry) is that modesty and femininity are not the same thing. One can be modest without being the least bit feminine. And I think that if we look at our roles - created male and female - women are supposed to act and dress in a feminine manner.

One last thing...if you have been intrigued by this topic, another lesson on this subject that just rocked my world was this sermon by C.J. Mahaney - all I can say is, “Wow!”

If you have time to listen to only one thing (and surely you have more time than that), listen to Mahaney.

P.S. I once asked if this outfit was modest. I've since come to the conclusion that it was not. My skirt was too short and so was Bessie's. Plus, with the rain, t-shirts were a bad, bad idea. (Not that I knew it was going to rain, but that doesn't matter.) And...I'm not a spring chicken any more so I am presently pondering whether I should even wear t-shirts at all. The question then becomes, what do I wear on a casual day? All I've ever known is t-shirts (and jeans). Dressing up to go somewhere special (church) is easy...but figuring out what to wear on a casual day is not.

Modesty

What is modest dressing? I can honestly say that I struggle with this issue. Not in the sense of showing too much skin, but as in wondering whether my skirts need to go down to my toes and whether it is okay to wear pants, jeans or Capri pants?

Here is an interesting post on modesty. It is long, but worth reading.

Here is a little more info on modesty.

I really believe that the modesty issue is really something to ponder and pray about.

Before I read Stacey and Amanda’s posts I had decided to keep the following story to myself because I know that it will sound a bit bizarre to some, but it seems a strange providence that Stacey McDonald would post on this very issue even as I’ve been pondering similar things in my heart (and I know of no one whom I can turn to ask about it) so I’ve decided for better or worse to share. Please know beforehand that I have come to no definite conclusions on the modesty issue. I do believe that women should dress modestly, but whether that means just being aware of how tight and revealing our clothes are or whether it means wearing skirts/dresses all the time I know not. I can only walk as the Lord directs me.

~The story ~

For our trip to Dollywood I dressed everyone in an orange shirt so it would be easy to locate us all. (Mark was beside himself over my color choice. He couldn’t get over the fact that I choose orange, but it happened accidentally – I already had three children with orange shirts - so I just went with what I had on hand and purchased two more orange shirts and then found matching shirts for Mark and myself from what we already had in our closets – and “voila!” we all matched.) And because I’ve been pondering my own style of dress and the way I dress my girls (I’ve been pondering and changing for about two-three years now) in view of certain modesty ideas (Return of the Daughters, etc.). I dressed the girls in simple skirts (that matched their orange shirts) and I wore a skirt as well with an orange shirt. (Modest for us, but not as modest as some.) Anyway, while we were waiting for Mark to get us some lemonade a lady walked up to me and said, “It is nice to see your family dressed modestly.” And then she walked away. She and her girls (I think she had three – five children total) were dressed in very cute long split skirts or culottes. They were very practical and I’ve only seen them worn a time or two. I wanted to ask her if she made them herself, but I was too caught up in her words to bring myself to go over and talk to her further. Later I saw her again and would have gone up to her, but the opportunity did not present itself.

I have to admit that this was the first time I have ever been given this type of a compliment and it took me back a bit. I didn’t know how to respond and to be honest I wasn’t sure it was a compliment.

I did say “thank you” but it was rather blunderingly done. Btw, the park was full of Christians, so much so that Bethany (9) noticed and commented on it later.

Throughout the rest of that very rainy day (we got very wet in our skirts and orange T-shirts) I felt myself contemplating the idea of modesty and wondering just how modest we women have to be? I found myself wondering if my little knee length skirt was even considered modest? Is cute and somewhat trendy immodest? Do woman have to look frumpy to be modest? Do I have to look the part of the forty something woman that I am? And does being modest mean I have to wear a dress or skirt all the time?

When I took the girls horseback riding I just couldn't leave Bethany in a skirt. I contemplated it, but the impracticalness of it over rode my desire to be modest. I even changed my own clothes and put on a pair of capri pants. I did leave Bess in the play dress she was wearing and was firmly chastised by my mother (pictured with Bess below). Nevermind that Bess had shorts on beneith her dress.

Here is a picture of one of Bethany's outfits. At the time I thought it was modest, but as the day progressed I began to have doubts. The "shirt" she is wearing is actually almost knee length and dress like. Instead of leggings she has on a pair of short capris jeans. What do you think?

A sweet lady in our Sunday school class recently mentioned the lack of Titus 2 role models and I know her lament. Where do I find a woman with more children than myself – preferably with some that are older, who home schools, and who would understand this modesty issue, and is a devoted, strong, mature Christian woman who loves the Lord, her family and her husband, and would gently answer all of my crazy questions without judgment or condemnation, and love me and guide me even when I am foolish and out of line? Where have the Grandmothers gone?

So that is it. I’ve shared. I apologize for giving you no real conclusion. I know that the tale feels unfinished. And that is because it is. It is still in progress in me. I have no answers or ending statements as I’m still figuring it all out.

I know that you are wondering what to do with this post and the answer is “I don’t know.” Ignore it if you want. Or if you have any thoughts, feel free to share.