Modesty

What is modest dressing? I can honestly say that I struggle with this issue. Not in the sense of showing too much skin, but as in wondering whether my skirts need to go down to my toes and whether it is okay to wear pants, jeans or Capri pants?

Here is an interesting post on modesty. It is long, but worth reading.

Here is a little more info on modesty.

I really believe that the modesty issue is really something to ponder and pray about.

Before I read Stacey and Amanda’s posts I had decided to keep the following story to myself because I know that it will sound a bit bizarre to some, but it seems a strange providence that Stacey McDonald would post on this very issue even as I’ve been pondering similar things in my heart (and I know of no one whom I can turn to ask about it) so I’ve decided for better or worse to share. Please know beforehand that I have come to no definite conclusions on the modesty issue. I do believe that women should dress modestly, but whether that means just being aware of how tight and revealing our clothes are or whether it means wearing skirts/dresses all the time I know not. I can only walk as the Lord directs me.

~The story ~

For our trip to Dollywood I dressed everyone in an orange shirt so it would be easy to locate us all. (Mark was beside himself over my color choice. He couldn’t get over the fact that I choose orange, but it happened accidentally – I already had three children with orange shirts - so I just went with what I had on hand and purchased two more orange shirts and then found matching shirts for Mark and myself from what we already had in our closets – and “voila!” we all matched.) And because I’ve been pondering my own style of dress and the way I dress my girls (I’ve been pondering and changing for about two-three years now) in view of certain modesty ideas (Return of the Daughters, etc.). I dressed the girls in simple skirts (that matched their orange shirts) and I wore a skirt as well with an orange shirt. (Modest for us, but not as modest as some.) Anyway, while we were waiting for Mark to get us some lemonade a lady walked up to me and said, “It is nice to see your family dressed modestly.” And then she walked away. She and her girls (I think she had three – five children total) were dressed in very cute long split skirts or culottes. They were very practical and I’ve only seen them worn a time or two. I wanted to ask her if she made them herself, but I was too caught up in her words to bring myself to go over and talk to her further. Later I saw her again and would have gone up to her, but the opportunity did not present itself.

I have to admit that this was the first time I have ever been given this type of a compliment and it took me back a bit. I didn’t know how to respond and to be honest I wasn’t sure it was a compliment.

I did say “thank you” but it was rather blunderingly done. Btw, the park was full of Christians, so much so that Bethany (9) noticed and commented on it later.

Throughout the rest of that very rainy day (we got very wet in our skirts and orange T-shirts) I felt myself contemplating the idea of modesty and wondering just how modest we women have to be? I found myself wondering if my little knee length skirt was even considered modest? Is cute and somewhat trendy immodest? Do woman have to look frumpy to be modest? Do I have to look the part of the forty something woman that I am? And does being modest mean I have to wear a dress or skirt all the time?

When I took the girls horseback riding I just couldn't leave Bethany in a skirt. I contemplated it, but the impracticalness of it over rode my desire to be modest. I even changed my own clothes and put on a pair of capri pants. I did leave Bess in the play dress she was wearing and was firmly chastised by my mother (pictured with Bess below). Nevermind that Bess had shorts on beneith her dress.

Here is a picture of one of Bethany's outfits. At the time I thought it was modest, but as the day progressed I began to have doubts. The "shirt" she is wearing is actually almost knee length and dress like. Instead of leggings she has on a pair of short capris jeans. What do you think?

A sweet lady in our Sunday school class recently mentioned the lack of Titus 2 role models and I know her lament. Where do I find a woman with more children than myself – preferably with some that are older, who home schools, and who would understand this modesty issue, and is a devoted, strong, mature Christian woman who loves the Lord, her family and her husband, and would gently answer all of my crazy questions without judgment or condemnation, and love me and guide me even when I am foolish and out of line? Where have the Grandmothers gone?

So that is it. I’ve shared. I apologize for giving you no real conclusion. I know that the tale feels unfinished. And that is because it is. It is still in progress in me. I have no answers or ending statements as I’m still figuring it all out.

I know that you are wondering what to do with this post and the answer is “I don’t know.” Ignore it if you want. Or if you have any thoughts, feel free to share.