Once again I’ve been reading Ann at Holy Experience. Again I’m touched. This time tears fall. They’ve been waiting behind my eyelashes for days. Again I’ve fallen short. And at Christmas when I so long to be close to the Lord. Living for Him. Heart tuned to Him.
Ann says that the stretching of the soul hurts. I agree. Mine hurts now. Has for days. I treasure the pain and hate it at the same time. Treasure it because I am changed by it. Hate it for the very pain it brings.
I mentioned that I would post about Advent resources. As you know I haven’t. I just haven’t wanted to. I apologize. It is partly because Advent resources are listed on practically every blog I’ve read lately. There has been a lack of urgency on my part. Daily life is more important. And to be honest I just haven’t felt like writing. My writing days might be over. I am thinking about shutting my blog down. I'm not sure it serves a purpose and I just don't have the time.
Sunday we will light the last purple candle. Four alight. While the Christ candle waits. Dark until Christmas Eve. So many days yet to be stretched before it is lit. Ann’s words, “soul stretchmarks”. I have a few of those. Beautiful aren’t they? I’ll take a few more – painful or not.
Stretch me, Lord. Stretch me. Gently please...