Since early this morning my spirit has been heavy. I don't know why. This heaviness comes upon me every once in awhile for no apparent reason and it is very hard to shake. The only thing that gets rid of it is prayer and I've come to regard this feeling as a call to prayer. The problem is I rarely know what I’m supposed to be praying for – just that I need to. I have to confess, I’m not very fond of these feelings and I wish that God would be more direct and just tell me who and/or what I’m supposed to be praying for. Once I pray the feelings recede, but often I’m left with a residual feeling of sadness…like I could just weep for the whole world. Right now I feel that way.
Anyway, sorry to start off on a down note. Yesterday afternoon we watched a wonderful movie entitled Faith Like Potatoes. The movie is based on the true story of a South African farmer named Angus Buchan and his family. At a low point in Buchan’s life he accepts Jesus. His whole life is changed. The story is one of amazing faith and has left me reflecting upon my own faith. It is a great family movie, but early in the movie Angus and his wife do fight a bit, and at one point there is a tragic scene which might be a little much for a child younger than 10 or 11 or a sensitive child. It isn't graphic, but it is abrupt and there is blood. It is also very sad.
The bonus materials are wonderful. In them the real Buchan and his wife (and others) speak and tell their story themselves and their story is amazing. I was riveted. Amazingly just like George Mueller Buchan asks for no money for his ministry he simply trusts God to provide and He does.
As I watched the bonus material I found myself carefully watching and listening to Angus’ wife Jill speak. I found myself desirous to know her place in his ministry (I wanted to learn from her) because lately I’ve been questioning whether I am serving enough (outside of the home). Our philosophy (Mark and my) for the last three or so years (since a little before Elisabeth’s birth) has been that I would be Mark’s (my husband’s) support (at home and at church) and not actually serve in any formal capacity. Before Mark started teaching full time, and before he was so involved in so many other church related things, and before we had five children, I did serve as a preschool teacher and I did other things, but once he started teaching, etc. he asked me to stop so that I could be with him on Sunday. That has been where I have been ever since (and happily so, I might add). But, in the back of my mind there is often a whispher of, "Is that enough?"
What I saw in the movie and the bonus clips was that Angus’ wife doesn’t travel with him when he preaches (and God has used him repeatedly in amazing ways). Of course this was only a small snapshot of her life, I do not know what else she might do that wasn't mentioned, but it was evident that her being at home and tending to the home was important to them both and it was something she had been doing for many years - from early on in his ministry (which started in the late 70's or early 80's) until the present so that was a bit encouraging to me...
Anyway, if you have a chance check the movie out. I don't think you will regret it.
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. –Matthew 17:20