I don’t often share intimate details about my marriage, but the other day my husband Mark and I had a conversation that I feel should be shared. Here is what happened…
Mark and I were sitting at the dining room table facing one another with our laptop computers in front us. He was trying to finish some computer work but he was in a hurry to finish because he was late leaving for his job. I was checking my email and wasting time. Here is the conversation that ensued. Spoken words are in italics.
Mark addressing me: Do you want to play on my team?
Me: (Looking at him over the top of my computer; slightly worried about where this line of questioning was leading and already assuming he wanted me to do something for him.) I’m already on your team.
Mark: Repeating himself. Do you want to play on my team?
Me: Ouch. Do you want to take my computer to work? (I was trying to guess what he wanted. It had to be one of two things: my computer or something to do with helping him get ready for work. Both things I dislike.)
Mark: No. Do you want to play on my team?
Me: Yes. What do you want me to do?
Long story short he wanted me to find him something to wear to work and iron it if necessary.
I did what he asked, promptly and without complaint even though I seriously dislike both of the tasks he asked me to do. Why? Because, even though I didn't want to "run the play" (and sadly he knew that I wouldn't want to) he is the captain and we are teammates.
After we had this conversation I began thinking about what he’d asked me “Do you want to play on my team?”
I think that this is a worthy question. Are we playing on our husband’s team or are we playing on our own team? Is the marriage about "me" (the wife) and my needs, wants, desires, or is it about "us" and what is best for the team?
Something to ponder.
“Each day is a decision, each hour a challenge, and each response starts you toward either the quicksand of divorce or the solid ground of being blessed “heirs together of the grace of life."
– Debi Pearl