Fearlessly Feminine Motherhood

Motherhood is costly.  And it is only natural to try to resist the pain and still reap the benefits.  But it is this very difficulty, surmounted and conquered, that brings the richest rewards.  Anything of worth is costly:  devotion to Christ, a strong marriage, financial responsibility, a life of integrity, and of course, fearlessly feminine mothering.

To be fearlessly feminine means mothering well.  It means being willing to put someone else's needs ahead of your own.  The fearlessly feminine woman stops running from her children.  She develops a deep sense of the value of her hourly sacrifices as a mother. There is no "National Mothers' Union"  she can petition for higher pay or better work conditions.  Yet as she surrenders to the call of motherhood, she fleshes out her answer to the question, "What is truly important in my life; what is of eternal significance?"

Are you struggling with your role as a mother-servant in your home?  Are you resenting your kids?  Are you fearful that life might slip through your fingers?  Recognize your feelings for what they are:  self-centered and unfaithful toward the God who called you to mother.  These emotions are the opposite of what is good and true and pure and kind.  God's purpose for us as his daughters is not freedom from the difficulties in life. His goal is to make us like Christ and, through us, to mark our children with His beauty.  ~Jani Orland

And whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave to all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. ~Mark 10:43-44

School at Home

Bethany and Ethan

Bethany

Ben - doing his own thing

Ethan -this picture was taken by Bethany my aspiring photographer.

Intentional ~ Feminine Dress

Over the past few years the Lord has gently impressed upon my heart the truth that the way a woman presents herself is important. Her presentation - demeanor, spirit, attitude, dress, etc. will either glorify the Lord and bring honor to her husband or not. With this in mind I would like to share a wonderful blog series on this topic - A Portrait of Feminine Dress by Jacqueline at Deep Roots at Home. I hope these wonderful pictures inspire you as much as they did me. Be sure to read the entire series. Enjoy.

A pure woman is one who is less concerned about trendiness than about what a particular trend communicates about character. ~Lydia Brownback

It's so easy today to base our choices on what's readily available and on what everyone else is wearing.  After all, we think, it can't be immodest if we blend in with everyone around us.  But we are kidding ourselves here.  A more accurate assessment as to whether an article of clothing is God-glorifying involves both our motive for wearing it and the effect it has on the men around us.  The old saying "she wears her heart on her sleeve" can be taken beyond the realm of romance to the realm of character. ~Lydia Brownback

Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control. ~1 Timothy 2:9

Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. ~1 Peter 3:3-4

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~Romans 12:1-2

Low & Wise

Perhaps a better woman after all, with chubby children hanging on my neck to keep me low and wise. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Intentional ~ Motherhood

What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God.  We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow. ~Martin Luther

I don't know if you are like me or not, but I find that in the midst of trying to keep up with my 13m old, deal with squabbling children, clean up messes, take care of the dog, homeschool, control the clutter, cook, and clean up after a toilet that likes to overflow at the exact moment that I've finally gotten comfortable and forgotten about it (yes, really!) I tend to forget that motherhood is a sacred and holy calling. I get caught up in the day to day and forget that motherhood is kingdom work.

If so, then you will want to read Kendal's post What Is Our Time For.

While you are visiting The Focused Homemaker you will also want to read Natalie's post Have You Lost Your First Love. Or reverse the order and read Natalie's post first. After all, if you have forgotten your First Love, then it will be impossible for you to view motherhood as kingdom work.

Often we don't view our daily activities biblically. We wrongly believe that the more mundane the task, the less significant it is to God.  As difficult as it may be to believe, the hands that tenderly bathe your baby at night are no less holy than the hands that serve you communion on Sunday.  Every small act of love to your family - every diaper you change, every meal you prepare, every toilet you scrub, every errand you run, every fever you tend to, each tooth you pull, every moment of undefiled intimacy with your husband - each one is a holy act when it's done as unto the Lord. ~Stacy McDonald

Time & Intentionality

This morning I've been thinking about time. About how I never seem to have enough of it. How I feel like I am always chasing after it. Trying to catch it. Slow it down. Stop it. There are so many things to do each day.

I wish I could capture time. Keep it. Tell it to wait so that I can get everything done. Yet, I suppose I'm getting the things done that the Lord wants me to get done...or maybe not. Intentionality must play a part. If I am intentionally using my time, will I still be chasing after it? Seems not, and yet...craziness happens despite my best intentions to be intentional.

I've been pondering intentionality. Questioning what it looks like lived out and how I can stay motivated enough to be consistently intentional. I have a tendency to decide to do something and then completely forget that I made the decision to do it. There is just so much going on...time spinning fast.

I want to live an intentional life. Intentional for Christ. In every. aspect. of. my. life. Yes.

The question is:  what does an intentional or intentionally lived life look like? In real time. Time crammed full with children. School. Noise. Screaming toddlers. Sickness. Laughter. Good. Bad. Boring. Exciting. Life.

A life of purpose. A life of beauty. A life of order. A life of love. A life of sacrifice. A life of praise. A life well lived. Christ.

Yet, how? What is it? What does it look like? And how do I find time and strength to attain and maintain it? Revolutions in my mind.

Elisabeth Elliot's famous words come to mind..."do the next thing". And yet,...

I was reading another blog that I enjoy and the author was answering a question from a reader who asked how the author of the blog never got tired of being intentional. The author answered that she does get tired, but that it is a good tired. I agree. Work is good. Being intentional is good (and important), but I also agree with the questioner. Living an intentional life is not easy. It is tiring. Especially for a wife whose husband is often absent due to long work hours or other obligations. Intentionality then falls primarily on the wife/mother - and for a mother of many this can be a tiring thing. A difficult thing.

Weary. There is always the call of the couch. Do you hear it? It calls, "come and sit for you are weary". The computer calls too, "come and lose yourself in endless web pages and other's words". And books. They call too. And the shower. Ha!

As mothers we must laugh. Find humor in the crazy. Proverbs 31 says, "she laughs at the time to come". I've been thinking that we must laugh at the days that are. Today. This moment. It helps us stay sane. Or me at least.

My husband is once again teaching from 1 Peter. This book of the Bible is all about intentional living. Holy living. Glorifying God. Good works. Following Christ. And suffering. I'm going to try to carve out a few free minutes today to delve into it's pages and see what I can glean about living intentionally.

But now another is calling me from his crib. His babbles say, "Momma, come and get me. I am awake. I'm ready for the day. No more sleep. Here I am!" And so I go...to begin my intentional day or not. We shall see.

May the Lord bless you my sweet friends.

My return, Ethan turning 1, and a 15% off coupon

In a few days Ethan will turn 1.  (Yes, that is his bottom in the picture.)

Can you believe Ethan is turning 1?

Well, maybe you can, but I almost can't. In honor of his upcoming birthday on the 14th (the same day as my dear husband's birthday) and my return to blogging I have a special 15% off coupon from Just Simply Baby to share with you. Just click on the link at the bottom of this page (scroll way down and use my affiliate link) and pick your favorite diaper - maybe like this one that Ethan is wearing in the picture (sorry, I am going to have to work on perfecting my baby-in-cloth diaper pics) or this one which I also adore - and then use the code 15OFF at check out. This coupon is just for today so don't procrastinate.

I have two Just Simply Baby diapers in different prints (and I am about to use my coupon and order a few more - probably this one, and this one, and maybe a minky - because I'm in love with minky diapers) and not only are they cute as can be, but they work. In fact, I don't have a single cloth diaper that doesn't work. I am in love with cloth! Yes, with 6 children! Ethan is my first cloth baby and I can't tell you how much I regret not using cloth sooner. Almost as much as I regret waiting until I was 29 to start having children. Anyway, I'll be writing more about cloth soon. So, if you have a question, ask. In the meantime, buy a diaper.

Need more incentive - here it is:  you can buy two diapers from Just Simply Baby for the price of one regular name brand diaper like, say, Fuzzibunz. And they work the same...maybe better. And if you use my affiliate link then I get credit which is the main reason why I am blogging again...as a way to help my family by bringing in a little extra income - think Proverbs 31. She grew a vineyard, I'm blogging. You get the picture. (I'm being right up front - I need the money and the free diapers so...buy from me.) Ya know - 6 kids need clothes, shoes, food, and I need to satisfy my cloth diaper addiction - you get the idea. And maybe someday soon I'll figure out or remember how to attach picture links...cause right now I just can't recall how to do it. Oh, and be prepared cause the blog will be changing as it is in a renovation stage right now. So no questions about why I only have 5 kids in the banner.

Happy shopping.

More on Motherhood

Motherhood gives us the opportunity to interact with history. Our prayers don’t just become part of protecting our children from harm and from hazards of their own making. With God in control, our prayers for our children can make a mark on our nation. True women, like Hannah (see 1 Samuel 1-2), trust God enough to believe He has great things planned for the babies He has given us - babies we give back to Him for His use, His kingdom, His glory. -Janet Parshall

Rain!

This morning I went to the window and what should I see?
Rain!
Beautiful, blessed rain.
Bess, my sweet, emotional five year old came to window beside me this morning and asked, “Mamma, what are you looking at?” Then she saw it too, “Rain! It hasn’t rained in years!”
Or something like that. I think the news said 120 days.

Praising God for the rain.

On Motherhood

Motherhood gives us feelings of fuzzy blankets and baby rattles and toys to line the crib. But motherhood is actually one of God’s refining fires. The reality of motherhood is that it’s a place to learn surrender, letting go, trusting and believing that God is God. -Janet Parshall

On Loan

Our children do not now - nor have they ever - belonged to us. They are God’s. We are simply the happy participants in His lend-lease program. He gives us permission to touch their hearts and minds, to teach them, to write truth on the tablets of their life, to help them know the love of Christ the Savior, to inspire in them a love for God and His Word…and then they go. They’re His, and His alone. -Janet Parshall

In Due Time

They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her. And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son.   1 Samuel 1:19-20

In due time…the sickness will pass.
In due time…my three year old will consistently use the potty.
In due time…we will have a few pennies to spare.
In due time…the baby will be born.
In due time…we will not be so busy.
In due time…________________?


Dear sisters, in due time the season will turn and whatever hardship or painful situation you are facing (which in hind sight might actually prove to have been good for you - a blessing even) will pass. Trust that God is good even when life doesn’t seem so. For now trust and obey, walk out your faith and trust in God even when it is dark, hold fast to God’s promises for if you do then in due time it will be over and God will be glorified.


In due time. Such a precious promise.

And finally - “in due time” - God’s answer came rushing through. “Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, ‘I have asked for him of the Lord' (1 Samuel 1:20)". Still trusting. -Janet Parshall

Two Kingdoms and the Grace of God

A simple wonderful thing that I love: When my husband teaches on a Bible passage in Sunday school and then our pastor preaches on the same passage (or subject) during worship.

Something similar and just as wonderful happened last Sunday.

A bit of background: Sometimes I know what Mark (my husband) is going to teach on or at least the gist of it, but sometimes I don’t. Last Sunday I knew nothing of his lesson except that he would be finishing up the book of Acts (28:11-31). In fact, last Saturday I wasn’t even sure if he would have a lesson to teach on because as of 9:00 pm Saturday night he was suffering from a (another) terrible headache and had been unable to focus on studying at all that day and the clock was ticking - so to speak.


9:30 pm last Saturday night: Mark asked me what he should do (about teaching on Sunday morning) and I asked him if he could teach the passage without studying it. He said he could. I told him to go to bed. He did. I spent some time praying for the next day - that God would take away his headache and that God would give him a lesson - God’s words to speak. Then I went to bed. I did not think to read the passage he was going to be teaching on the next day. I was worn out and Sunday is often a joyful, but busy and tiring day.


Sunday morning: About an hour and a half before we needed to leave for church I woke Mark and asked him how he was feeling and if he wanted to get up and study a bit. He said he felt a little better (not great) and would get up. I had a few extra minutes Sunday morning so I spent the time looking up verses on healing and then I spent a few minutes before we left reading Voices of the True Woman Movement, A Call to Counter-Revolution by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and others. I was reading in chapter 4 of the book and the subject matter was the kingdom of man vs. the kingdom of God. Looking back I realize that should have spent my extra time reading the passage Mark was going to teach on, but as you will see God spoke through what I did read.


9:30 am/Sunday school: Mark is teaching and I am silently praising God because He has given him words and his headache has receded a bit. It is a good lesson. I am thankful. I am also sitting in amazement because God is speaking…at least to me. Guess what Acts 28:23-31 is about? Yes! So amazing! Or maybe not. Just God. Exactly what I’d read about in those few minutes before we left for church. Of course! Paul preaching about the kingdom of God in Rome. So what do you think the main part of Mark’s lesson was about? Yes! The kingdom of man vs. the kingdom of God. Wake up O sleeper and see. Precious.


Marvel. Amazed. Blessed. Grace. Gift. Precious. These are the words that best described how I felt that morning and still feel. God is so good.

When they had appointed a day for him, they came to him at his lodging in greater numbers. From morning till evening he expounded to them, testifying to the kingdom of God and trying to convince them about Jesus both from the Law of Moses and from the Prophets. -Acts 28:23

To follow Him we must give up our own kingdoms - whether relationships, wealth, or power - and embrace God’s kingdom.  -Hettinga

In all of life, it’s important to recognize that there are always two stories going on at the same time - two perspectives, two worldviews, two ways of looking at life. There’s the drama that you can see, and then there’s the drama behind the drama. There’s the obvious plot, as well as the plot beneath the plot. The first plot is the visible, human one - the drama taking place on earth. We might call this the kingdom of man,…Backlighting the human plot and story is a heavenly drama, an unseen story that’s always going on behind the scenes in the spiritual realm. It is the Kingdom of God, overshadowing and outdistancing the kingdom of man as God fulfills His eternal purposes through the events on earth. …Therefore, we as true women, playing out our individual roles in the story of our times, must keep our eyes on what is unseen, knowing that what our God is doing in the background is higher, broader, and more eternal than anything we can see with our natural sight. -Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Please believe me when I say that the wondrous acts of God are not limited to by-gone days. Our powerful, redeeming God is alive; He has not abdicated His throne; He is intent on displaying His glory in our world. And our minds cannot fathom all that He is able to do in and through the lives of those who trust in Him. - Nancy Leight DeMoss

P.S. Mark is still suffering from almost non-stop headaches and they are wearing him down mentally and physically. Your prayers are appreciated.

Taking Mountains by Their Roots

When God has heard prayer for one thing, faith comes and asks for two things, and when God has given those two things, faith asks for six. Faith can scale the walls of heaven. She is a giant grace. She takes mountains by their roots and puts them on other mountains and so climbs to the throne in confidence with large petitions, knowing that she shall not be refused. Most of us are too slow to go to God. If we have been heard once, we go away instead of coming again and again, and each time with a larger prayer. Make your petitions longer and longer. Ask for ten, and if God gives them, then for a thousand, and keep going until at last you will have enough faith to ask as great a favor as Moses did, “I beseech you, show me your glory.” -Charles Spurgeon

Fun in the Oven

Bess:  Mom, I know what "fun in the oven" means.
Mom:  Fun in the oven?
Bess:  Yes.  It means you're pregnant.

2 CORNTHIANS 4:10

If the world is ever going to see the Resurrection before Jesus returns, it will have to see it in us.

Many of us think often about our witness, but we may think of it in terms of our words or even our lifestyle. Those things are certainly important, even essential parts of our witness. But there’s a dynamic that will do more than any of our words or good behavior can do. It’s the dynamic of visible death and visible life. What does that mean? It means that people must see in us a sacrificial life. They must see self-denial and self-restraint, humility and confession, deference and peace. They must see that the life of Jesus within us costs us a lot. They must see the very attitude that took Jesus to the Cross. Then they must see the power of Jesus working in us. They must see that our life is not something created by our past psychology or present drive, but is given from above. They must see a joy that transcends this world and a peace that will not be bothered by it. They must see the very glory that brought Jesus out of the grave.

The only way to make our Savior known is to embody His death and to embody His life. Live like He lived. Sacrifice like He sacrificed. Enjoy the glory of His resurrection like He did - and does. That’s how He is revealed.    -Chris Tiegreen

Relax

Today I'd like to share this wonderful video by Todd Wilson, "The Family Man" and his wife.  Mr. Wilson has a great sense of humor and his family is so cute (so "good looking" as us Texans like to say). I always look forward to reading his column in The Homeschool Minute. Btw, if you live in or around the Houston area he will be speaking at the THSC Southwest Convention & Family Conference (Homeschool Convention).



Monday Prayer

Father, I praise You. Enable me to rest in You today. To relax. To be peaceful. Grant me a quiet and gentle spirit. Enable me to take joy in my children and in homeschooling. Both are a joy and a privilege and I am so grateful. So very grateful. No other life Lord do I wish...And Lord, help me to love on my husband...in whatever way he needs it. Help me to see him and meet his needs even (before) as I meet the needs of so many others. Enable me to love as You love. Open my eyes to the needs around me. Make my hands and feet Your hands and feet. And Lord, if you could remind me to put Ben on the potty and place it upon his heart to tell me when he needs to go - I'd so appreciate it. Thank you. Blessed be Your Name. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Raising Heros

We need to remember our Lord's parable about the bad steward.  He didn't lose his talent, he failed to multiply it.  When the master returned, the steward ran and got the coin he had been given.  We are called to multiply our talents in and through the gift of our children.  Our goal isn't simply to get them into the kingdom, but to raise them to be heroes of the faith.

When we read the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11, we ought to pray that our children will be in that hall.  As Gregg Harris once wrote, we don't simply want our children to be able to read and understand the great Reformers, we want them to be the great Reformers, for their generation.  It is necessary, however, that we understand what greatness and Reformation are.  That is, our talents will be best multiplied not by raising famous theologians, heroines of renown, sports stars or Christian pop singers.  Our talents will be multiplied if we humbly raise up godly children who will raise up godly children. The greatness isn't in popularity and fame, not even in the "talents," but in the faithfulness. -Denise Sproul

Just in case you forgot...

Today is Maundy Thursday.
Tomorrow is Good Friday.
Saturday is a day of silence as we reflect upon Christ being in the tomb.
Sunday is Easter or Resurrection Day.

Don't forget. Don't ignore. Prepare. Remember. Celebrate.

For many weeks our family has been reading through Amon's Adventure during our family worship time. This week (Holy Week) we added in the DVD our pastor made many years ago to help us prepare our hearts for Easter. (We watch it every year.) Holy Week is a precious week for our family and my favorite week of the year. What are you doing to prepare your heart and the hearts of your children for this most Holy of Days?

Here are a few ideas that we do at our home:

Go to church tonight (Maundy Thursday) and celebrate the Lord's Supper or have your own Passover meal.

Lenten Lights (Our candles are pictured above - we start with all the candles lit and then one candle is blown out each night of Holy Week. On Friday the final candle is extinguished and the candles remain unlit or dark - Christ in the tomb - until Sunday morning. On Easter morning all the candles are lit before the children awake and then the rejoicing begins. Easter baskets are reserved until after we have had our Bible reading, have read the final chapter of Amon's Adventure, and watched the last day of the DVD. I also usually have the children dress for church before they are allowed to dig into their baskets. All of this usually takes place before 8:30 am. This year the order might change a bit as we are considering - or rather I am considering, I haven't discussed this with Mark yet - attending the 8:00 am service. We usually have family over after church so all of these activities have to take place before we leave for church in the morning.)

Read Amon's Adventure by Arnold Ytreeide (Last night's reading was so exciting!)

Read the corresponding Scripture passages nightly to your children and/or yourself.

Make these Resurrection Rolls (we will make these on Saturday morning since Sunday is much too busy; this will be our first year to try this recipe).

Get Noel Piper's book Treasuring God in Our Traditions and use some of her wonderful ideas for how to prepare and celebrate Easter.

For the older folk in your home - watch The Passion of the Christ.

And this egg hunt is a neat idea that I just heard about this year and hope to somehow implement into our Easter day celebration (we already celebrate with a large family gathering and egg hunt).

Go to church Easter morning and celebrate the Risen LORD!

I pray these ideas will get you excited and spark some ideas of your own. Leave a comment and share what you do to celebrate and prepare for Easter.

I pray that you all have a blessed, peaceful, and restful Easter. Remember the point of these ideas is not to get stressed. Family worship is not about being stressed. It should be a joy and a delight.

Hiatus and Back Again

Hiatus - a break or pause in the continuity of action, speech, writing, etc. -The New Lexicon Webster's Dictionary of the English Language

I've been on Hiatus. I hope to be back now - at least every once in awhile.

Okay, let's get caught up:

The most exciting news (most of you know it by now) is that we are expecting baby # 6. A boy. Due around September 16th, 2011.

This is beauty for ashes as I miscarried last year on the 16th of September and God has graciously granted us a new life at the same time one year later. And NO we did not plan this baby or time the baby so that he would be born in September - we were not trying to have a baby at all we stopped "trying" and planning after #3 (but that is a whole other post).

Other happenings - Bess (5) broke her leg in a freak accident. She has been in a purple cast for about eight weeks now. We are hoping that she will get it off this Friday. She has been a real trooper and hasn't complained about it at all and we have been amazed watching her manage to get around by herself. She has been in a walking cast for about the last four weeks so that has helped. She is our first child to break anything. 

The last few weeks have been crazy with mechanical failures and other household disasters occuring. About two weeks ago the toilet in our half bath, which has a tendency to get clogged, overflowed again. (This occurred a day or so after our trip to a high risk pregnancy specialist to find out if our sweet boy had Downs Syndrome -he does not - and later that night a trip to the ER to calm my crazy heart. I had a SVT attack.) Caleb was the one to notice the water on the floor in the front hallway (outside of the bathroom) and his cool comment was, "Mom, there is water on floor" no emotion. Understatement of the year! It was a flood! All the way out of the bathroom to the front door and into the laundry room.  It was one of the biggest, grossest messes I've cleaned up in awhile. And I still don't own a real mop! At first I was completely bewildered as to how to clean up the mess, but God is good and cleared my crazed mind long enough for me to remember that we own a wet/dry vac. What a blessing! My amazing husband with the help of our oldest child spent all of Saturday morning unclogging the toilet. What a job. And so disgusting. I'm so proud of both of them. This is the man who used to know nothing about home repairs and now fixes everything. He has been homeschooling himself. Hee, hee. Praise the Lord for the internet!

Later, on the toilet night, as I was tucking the children in they all asked me why all these terrible things were happening to us and I had a chance to share that these things were not terrible, not even if our sweet baby had been diagnosed with Downs Syndrome, just inconvenient and unpleasant. Terrible is a death or something life threatening or worse - and even then there is good somewhere unseen in the mess. Our toilet overflowing was just a disgusting inconvenience. I was also able to tell them that God hasn't promised that our lives will be good/easy all the time. I told them that we should expect trouble because it will come and it is in those times that we have the greatest opportunity for growth and to glorify God through our attitudes and actions. I tried to explain that during the hard times we either grow closer to God or we turn away from Him.  It is a choice. And our response - to an overflowing toilet or worse - either glorifies God or not. I realized as I was talking to the children that over the last few years my own perspective and responses to the good and bad that happens in life has changed. I now see or try to see everything as from the hand of God for my good - even when it seems to the world and possibly to myself as the opposite. This is rarely easy but I try to always choose to see God's hand in a thing - His good and loving hand.

A sweet friend who recently lost a baby called the loss bittersweet. I smiled a sad smile when I read her words. My heart understood perfectly. Bittersweet was "my" word. I used to use it a lot. It is a word that I believe describes much of life. And I've come to beieve that, oddly enough, it is in the midst of the bitter that either the sweetness of joy is found or bitterness takes over. Choose joy.